7/14/07 (Me to Babe)
Hi Babe:
I too watched part of the ballgame because I was thinking about you, the hero, even sitting on the floor massaging your foot. But I felt very strange watching it without you, so I did not watch the whole thing. In fact, I missed all the scoring. But it’s okay. As a matter of fact, I have to tell you that I have not had a potato chip since the last time we had some at your house. As crazy as that may sound it’s the truth.
I am going to answer some of your questions here in this letter. By the way, there is no such thing as too many questions, so ask away whenever you want. Im also going to ask you as favor here, to please don’t look at this letter as me complaining. I will be stating facts as they are and it is not my intention to complain to you. Babe, I have to explain a couple of things. First about the house, then about “I hope you are enjoying life in Florida”, and lastly about “hope you are having a good life”. In a few simple words, the answer to all three is the same; EVERYTHING SUCKS!
The real estate market is very slow here as it is everywhere. I am going to finish with the house (which I will tell you in a minute) within the next two weeks and then try to sell it on my own. Since I am not working for a real estate office, I will not be able to make any commissions on the listing or selling side of it. This is why I will attempt to put it on the market and sell it as a FSBO. After a month or two, if that doesn’t work, I will be forced to list it. But I don’t see there are too many houses being sold even by realtors.
Yes the weather is what I expected it to be, very nice. In fact from October to mid May it probable rained a few times only (one of those days being Super Bowl Sunday) and since the middle of May it has rained almost everyday in the afternoon. But the rains come and go very quickly. It’s a matter of 15 minutes and the sun is out again. There is no need for raincoats, or umbrellas. However, life is a lot more than just the weather. As you know Luis is a big challenge to undertake. It is not easy taking care of him on a daily basis. And as I told you once, Julie is forgetting many things she says, or has to do, and couple that with my own forgetfulness (you must definetly must remember that) it a daily challenge. With the house I have almost emptied it all out of her furniture. All I have left is her dinning room set which I have not been able to sell. And without even realizing it (and you were correct about this) I have been living off of my mothers assets for the past several months. Since most of it is gone, I must try my best to sell the house quickly to make that final move into something I can call my own. You see Babe, I still have stuff from NY packed. Even the TV from the apartment, the computer, all my kitchen stuff, even my clothes are still packed ready for a move. I hate living like this!
I will tell you what I use for plates are the trays from Quiznos, my spoons and forks comes from Wendys, the cups I use are from McDonalds coffee. The stuff I use comes from temporary places like that. I make do. Oh, I don’t use sugar anymore, I use Splenda which I get from 7-11 in packets by the handful. Improvise is the key word. This is okay for me until something more permanent comes along. I even had the picture frames with your pictures lined up on the floor. For now, I have taken some of my mother’s things I wish to keep along with my stuff and put it in a storage place to have the house empty in order to fix things, paint it and sell it. I should be finished in the next couple of weeks since I have to strip the floor of the old wax, buff it, and finish it again. And paint the outside of the house. I have re-done the two bathrooms, the kitchen, all the walls have been painted, even the yard has been cleaned up. One of the things I am having the most difficulty in getting rid of, are the 30 oil paintings she had, which I cannot get a market value for them because the painter who is from Spain is not known in the US. And secondly is the costume jewelry she used to sell from her house. There are approximately 2500 pieces of necklaces, earrings, chains, you name it, and the price she sold them at were valued from $10 to $75 each. I have been trying to find a wholesaler to buy it completely even if it’s a $5 each, but there is no luck there either.
So, I am enjoying the weather; and fixing the house, and looking after Luis is like a full time job, but I have no life. I see myself getting very old, and slowing down, (that’s from the ‘not being with you’ part), also my elbow hurts a lot. So to answer one of your questions: no I am not having a good life here. And I say that because of what I have explained here in the letter, but also because you are not in my life. Remember I used to say, “I just want to have a normal life”. Look at how I am living now!
Now there are a couple of things I want to tell you, so you can let me know what I should do. One thing is; I have always had in my wallet a little piece of paper which has your name, your address, phone number and a small message which is there in case of an emergency, so they would contact you. I wonder if you would not want that? I also have a safe deposit box here in a bank that has you listed to have access to the box, and in it there is some of my stuff and all of my mother’s good jewelry. I wonder if you want me to change that also? I also have written, a sort of will leaving you in charge of everything I own. For you to keep or distribute as you see fit. And I also wonder if you want that responsibility? Also, I want you to know I have paid off the credit card we had under the business name, which you used your credit for, its all paid.
Lastly, I want you to know that it never was, and still is not my intention, to live here in Miami. I am looking forward to eventually being in Vegas as I always told you, except I wanted to do it with you. Once I sell my mother’s house, I will be in a position to make that move come true. Even Julie, is telling me to do what I really want to do in life. In fact, she is encouraging me not to stay here because of them. I am going to ask you for a favor. And that is to ask your mother if she ever wants to sell her place that I will buy it. I will give her anything she wants for the place. And if you want, give her my phone number or give me hers, and I will call her about this. Also, I will be willing to put it in writing in my Will, that I would leave the unit free and clear of debt to Michael if he ever chose to keep it for himself. By the way, I would be doing this for Michael, only because of how I feel about him. I would not be using this as a means to get you to be with me.
I hope you can tell from this letter that everything I have said here indicates this is a temporary stay for me. I look at it as I have a job to do in getting rid of my mothers stuff, and the house, and then be able to move on. The US is a big country, a beautiful country, and somewhere out there is where I want to be. Eventually, when Im gone, someone can just scatter my ashes somewhere so I don’t disturb anyone. I also know that what I am looking for out of the life is a place I can call my own. A place I can hang my pictures (of you), display things which will remind me of our memories we made together, get myself the big TV I always wanted, have my own furniture, and be able to feel at home someplace. I am afraid, that as far as for me is concerned, life will not be the same as having you with me. But I have to thank you from the bottom of my heart, because for the 11 years we were together, you gave me a lifetime of memories. And you shared some things with me that I cannot even describe with words. You taught me many things about life and myself, which I will always cherish. You mentioned things I have done for you in your letters, but it is I, who is grateful for the things you have done for me. I am grateful for you allowing me to do things for you, like going shopping, going on vacations, doing things around the house, and doing things for Michael & John (these gave me tremendous satisfaction). Im grateful for the life you gave me, which I did not have before. And, I am grateful, more than anything else, for giving me the reality of a dream which I cannot believe was possible for me to ever have achieved in my lifetime. For those years, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. For being the way you were with me, I thank you. For having loved me, I thank you.
And, as I have always said, if you ever need anything, just pick up the phone (or email, if I change my number) I will be here…
Me
Hi Babe:
I too watched part of the ballgame because I was thinking about you, the hero, even sitting on the floor massaging your foot. But I felt very strange watching it without you, so I did not watch the whole thing. In fact, I missed all the scoring. But it’s okay. As a matter of fact, I have to tell you that I have not had a potato chip since the last time we had some at your house. As crazy as that may sound it’s the truth.
I am going to answer some of your questions here in this letter. By the way, there is no such thing as too many questions, so ask away whenever you want. Im also going to ask you as favor here, to please don’t look at this letter as me complaining. I will be stating facts as they are and it is not my intention to complain to you. Babe, I have to explain a couple of things. First about the house, then about “I hope you are enjoying life in Florida”, and lastly about “hope you are having a good life”. In a few simple words, the answer to all three is the same; EVERYTHING SUCKS!
The real estate market is very slow here as it is everywhere. I am going to finish with the house (which I will tell you in a minute) within the next two weeks and then try to sell it on my own. Since I am not working for a real estate office, I will not be able to make any commissions on the listing or selling side of it. This is why I will attempt to put it on the market and sell it as a FSBO. After a month or two, if that doesn’t work, I will be forced to list it. But I don’t see there are too many houses being sold even by realtors.
Yes the weather is what I expected it to be, very nice. In fact from October to mid May it probable rained a few times only (one of those days being Super Bowl Sunday) and since the middle of May it has rained almost everyday in the afternoon. But the rains come and go very quickly. It’s a matter of 15 minutes and the sun is out again. There is no need for raincoats, or umbrellas. However, life is a lot more than just the weather. As you know Luis is a big challenge to undertake. It is not easy taking care of him on a daily basis. And as I told you once, Julie is forgetting many things she says, or has to do, and couple that with my own forgetfulness (you must definetly must remember that) it a daily challenge. With the house I have almost emptied it all out of her furniture. All I have left is her dinning room set which I have not been able to sell. And without even realizing it (and you were correct about this) I have been living off of my mothers assets for the past several months. Since most of it is gone, I must try my best to sell the house quickly to make that final move into something I can call my own. You see Babe, I still have stuff from NY packed. Even the TV from the apartment, the computer, all my kitchen stuff, even my clothes are still packed ready for a move. I hate living like this!
I will tell you what I use for plates are the trays from Quiznos, my spoons and forks comes from Wendys, the cups I use are from McDonalds coffee. The stuff I use comes from temporary places like that. I make do. Oh, I don’t use sugar anymore, I use Splenda which I get from 7-11 in packets by the handful. Improvise is the key word. This is okay for me until something more permanent comes along. I even had the picture frames with your pictures lined up on the floor. For now, I have taken some of my mother’s things I wish to keep along with my stuff and put it in a storage place to have the house empty in order to fix things, paint it and sell it. I should be finished in the next couple of weeks since I have to strip the floor of the old wax, buff it, and finish it again. And paint the outside of the house. I have re-done the two bathrooms, the kitchen, all the walls have been painted, even the yard has been cleaned up. One of the things I am having the most difficulty in getting rid of, are the 30 oil paintings she had, which I cannot get a market value for them because the painter who is from Spain is not known in the US. And secondly is the costume jewelry she used to sell from her house. There are approximately 2500 pieces of necklaces, earrings, chains, you name it, and the price she sold them at were valued from $10 to $75 each. I have been trying to find a wholesaler to buy it completely even if it’s a $5 each, but there is no luck there either.
So, I am enjoying the weather; and fixing the house, and looking after Luis is like a full time job, but I have no life. I see myself getting very old, and slowing down, (that’s from the ‘not being with you’ part), also my elbow hurts a lot. So to answer one of your questions: no I am not having a good life here. And I say that because of what I have explained here in the letter, but also because you are not in my life. Remember I used to say, “I just want to have a normal life”. Look at how I am living now!
Now there are a couple of things I want to tell you, so you can let me know what I should do. One thing is; I have always had in my wallet a little piece of paper which has your name, your address, phone number and a small message which is there in case of an emergency, so they would contact you. I wonder if you would not want that? I also have a safe deposit box here in a bank that has you listed to have access to the box, and in it there is some of my stuff and all of my mother’s good jewelry. I wonder if you want me to change that also? I also have written, a sort of will leaving you in charge of everything I own. For you to keep or distribute as you see fit. And I also wonder if you want that responsibility? Also, I want you to know I have paid off the credit card we had under the business name, which you used your credit for, its all paid.
Lastly, I want you to know that it never was, and still is not my intention, to live here in Miami. I am looking forward to eventually being in Vegas as I always told you, except I wanted to do it with you. Once I sell my mother’s house, I will be in a position to make that move come true. Even Julie, is telling me to do what I really want to do in life. In fact, she is encouraging me not to stay here because of them. I am going to ask you for a favor. And that is to ask your mother if she ever wants to sell her place that I will buy it. I will give her anything she wants for the place. And if you want, give her my phone number or give me hers, and I will call her about this. Also, I will be willing to put it in writing in my Will, that I would leave the unit free and clear of debt to Michael if he ever chose to keep it for himself. By the way, I would be doing this for Michael, only because of how I feel about him. I would not be using this as a means to get you to be with me.
I hope you can tell from this letter that everything I have said here indicates this is a temporary stay for me. I look at it as I have a job to do in getting rid of my mothers stuff, and the house, and then be able to move on. The US is a big country, a beautiful country, and somewhere out there is where I want to be. Eventually, when Im gone, someone can just scatter my ashes somewhere so I don’t disturb anyone. I also know that what I am looking for out of the life is a place I can call my own. A place I can hang my pictures (of you), display things which will remind me of our memories we made together, get myself the big TV I always wanted, have my own furniture, and be able to feel at home someplace. I am afraid, that as far as for me is concerned, life will not be the same as having you with me. But I have to thank you from the bottom of my heart, because for the 11 years we were together, you gave me a lifetime of memories. And you shared some things with me that I cannot even describe with words. You taught me many things about life and myself, which I will always cherish. You mentioned things I have done for you in your letters, but it is I, who is grateful for the things you have done for me. I am grateful for you allowing me to do things for you, like going shopping, going on vacations, doing things around the house, and doing things for Michael & John (these gave me tremendous satisfaction). Im grateful for the life you gave me, which I did not have before. And, I am grateful, more than anything else, for giving me the reality of a dream which I cannot believe was possible for me to ever have achieved in my lifetime. For those years, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. For being the way you were with me, I thank you. For having loved me, I thank you.
And, as I have always said, if you ever need anything, just pick up the phone (or email, if I change my number) I will be here…
Me
posted by George Lagarde at 4:53 PM
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